


as if there's no goodbyes

by theredhoodie



Category: Sanditon (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Rewrite, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, end of episode 8 who?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 21:20:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21215249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theredhoodie/pseuds/theredhoodie
Summary: What may have happened if there was no fire at all, and everything and everyone in Sanditon continued onward toward happiness.





	as if there's no goodbyes

**Author's Note:**

> Oh I needed some fluff. And I am fully aware that I am not the first person to come up with this idea, but the words themselves are my own.
> 
> I just desperately wanted to guess how this may have gone.
> 
> Also since I can't watch my files with subtitles, I tend to get names wrong...I can't figure out if one of the Parker's kids is named Jenny or Ginny so we're going with Jenny and I'm so sorry if I'm wrong.

The morning sun crept through the drapes over the window, leaking into Charlotte's room at Trafalger House and she was lightly tugged toward consciousness. Waking slowly, she stayed under the covers, hair an unruly mess against her pillow, nightgown having since twisted up her legs overnight, settling bunched up around her thighs.

She lay there, squinting up at the ceiling as her eyes adjusted, and the memories from the previous night trickled back to mind. The stunning ball, the height of her emotions as she was dragged away from Sidney most of the evening, and then the balcony…

But that had been ruined by Edward Denham's outrageous entrance. Sidney had dashed away immediately, but Charlotte stayed, watching, eyes growing even wider with the horror and realization of the words being tossed around, and the implications that rippled through the crowd.

She'd rushed down just as the disowned gentleman was taken away. The ball's tone changed after that, though the music started up once again and dancing commenced, though Charlotte stayed standing with Mary for some time as her nerves felt frayed and all of the blossoming warmth in her chest from Sidney's words had been crushed by the interruption.

Eventually she did end up dancing for a while longer until the Parkers retired and she joined them. There was no sight of Sidney, and Charlotte had been too exhausted to do anything but undress, unpin her hair and fall to sleep.

Her dreams, from what she could remember, had been pleasant and left her feeling light and airy come morning.

With the sun burning brightly in the sky, she couldn't think of the uproar at the ball, but rather found herself grinning outrageously at the memory of Sidney's words and the softness in his eyes and the entire atmosphere of those moments. It was as if she were on the cloud, as if this wasn't actually her life, and yet…

Finally pushing the covers off herself, she rose and dressed in her white gown with the small black florets and attempted to do something with her naturally hectic hair. It was extremely curled from last night and she ran through it with damp fingers from the basin near the door and managed to pin a bit of it at the back of her head to keep it from falling into her eyes.

Once as satisfied as she could manage, she stepped out and walked down to the main floor of the house. The sounds of the Parker household gathering for breakfast hit her ears and her sense of smell was presented with a delicious ensemble of flavors that made her stomach growl quietly.

"Charlotte, Charlotte, come sit by me," Alicia said, immediately bolting from her seat to grab Charlotte's hand and guiding her the rest of the way into the drawing room.

"All right, all right," Charlotte said with a light laugh, sitting at the open chair at the table. "Good morning everyone." Mary was sitting with James in her arms and Tom had Henry on his knee. Jenny was trying and failing to sit properly and currently tucked her legs under herself so she could reach across the table for a piece of toast.

Charlotte quickly got lost in the craziness of the morning. She did her best to get a sufficient amount of food into the children's mouths and chatted a bit with the Parkers.

"I hope you enjoyed your night, Charlotte," Tom said before sipping his coffee.

The feeling of Sidney's hands in hers on the balcony came to the surface. "Oh yes, it was lovely."

"Unfortunate with that Edward Dunham business, though," he added, shaking his head.

Mary and Charlotte glanced at each other and Charlotte waited a beat or two before asking, "Did your brother return last night? After helping Mr. Dunham...away?"

"Yes," Tom nodded. "I believe so. Came in quite late when I was down in the kitchen grabbing a midnight snack."

Mary tutted and then turned her attention to the squirming baby in hand. It took just a couple more minutes of that before she stood, excusing herself to walk James around the house and eventually deposit him in the arms of the nursemaid. Not long after that, the other children started to talk about what they wanted to do today.

"Can we go to the beach again, Charlotte?" Alicia asked, tugging on Charlotte's sleeve.

"Sandcastles!" Henry exclaimed, holding his arm up as if he'd just created a new word.

"I concur with Henry," Sidney's baritone morning voice said from the stairwell before he entered the lightened space of the drawing room.

Charlotte glanced up as he walked in and resisted the urge she had to smile big and toothily, as she was wont to do, but which she'd been told showed far too much enthusiasm. She did offer him a smaller smile, to which he returned, while Tom seemed unaware.

"Ah, Sidney," the elder Parker said as Sidney sat in Mary's place as a new plate was set down for him. "I take it last night's events took a turn for the worse once you left."

Sidney took a slow look around the table. "I don't think that's anything we need to talk about this fine morning, brother."

Tom seemed to realize then what the company was and he nodded. "Right, of course. I do have work to attend to today. I'll be off in a minute." He gulped down his coffee and placed Henry down on his vacated seat before excusing himself.

"Can we go to the beach _now_?" Alicia asked, nearly vibrating off her seat in her excitement.

Charlotte was also feeling just as excited, though it mostly occurred inside; her heart squeezing and her stomach fluttering.

"May I eat first?" Sidney responded, to which Alicia delicately replied, "Yes, of course."

A few moments passed where the kids had children's conversation between them before Sidney spoke to Charlotte.

"I hope the rest of your evening went well, Miss Heywood."

She took a sip of tea before answering, feeling like every word she said was weighted with layers of interpretation. "It did, but you were sorely missed in your absence."

The corners of his mouth briefly twisted in a wry sort of smile. "Yes, I do believe I owe you a conversation."

As someone not particularly often lacking words, Charlotte found her mind blank, in which case she just smiled and turned her attention to the children instead.

"All right then, if we're to go to the beach, we need to get our coats and shoes. Come on." She stood and both of her hands were taken by smaller ones and she was ushered out of the room.

Half an hour later, the children were in coats and shoes and jumping for the chance to run along the beach. Charlotte left them downstairs while she went to put on her own pink coat and changed her shoes before returning downstairs.

"I hear you and Sidney are taking the little ones to the beach," Mary said, appearing from the parlor.

"Yes," Charlotte said as Jenny immediately grabbed her hand. "Would you like to join us?"

Sidney appeared then, sporting his own appropriate outerwear and Mary didn't hesitate. "I think I'd rather stay home this morning. I'm still feeling a bit tired from the excitement last night," she skillfully avoided the offer.

"Oh," Charlotte said, glancing up at Sidney as he appeared at her side. "I hope we can handle them," she added lightly.

"We'll be on our best behavior, Uncle Sidney," Henry said earnestly.

"Yes, of course you will," Sidney replied.

With a bit of shuffling, they made it to the street, waved goodbye to Mary and started the walk toward the beach. There wasn't much time for talking, as herding the children was like trying to keep track of a bunch of cats. They wanted to scatter and run, and before long, Sidney grabbed Henry and Charlotte took firm hold of the girls' hands until the dunes came into view. The morning air was cold and brisk, turning everyone's cheeks pink. The children didn't seem the mind and took off running the moment they reached the sand.

"How they have so much energy this early in the morning, I don't know," Sidney mused as the two of them walked a bit more slowly toward the hard packed sand closer to the ocean.

"It can be exhausting to be around," Charlotte said, having found her voice finally. "With my family it feels as if I'm surrounded by beings of pure energy, like something out of a storybook. It's no wonder my mother and father sleep so soundly, having to deal with all of my siblings."

"Do you help care for your siblings a lot while you're home?"

"Yes, of course. I have one older brother, but otherwise I'm the oldest. I'm half-a-mother to my younger brothers and sisters."

Sidney did nothing to hide the amused and contented smile on his face, which seemed to be a permanent fixture at the moment. "No wonder you're so good with that lot," he nodded toward the little ones, shrieking and running as fast as their little legs could carry them, occasionally chasing after a seagull.

"They're quite good children. And they love you dearly."

He nodded in agreement as they reached the wetter sand. "I did mean what I said this morning," Sidney said after a few minutes of watching the kids getting close to the surf and then running screaming from the water. "I wish to continue our conversation from the ball."

Charlotte's heart leapt in her chest and she held her hands together in front of her. "I would like that, as well," she said, looking over at him.

His eyes softened and for a brief moment, it was as if the rest of the world fell away. The moment was broken by a yelling Jenny, and he sighed. "But not here. Maybe we can go for another walk _to town_ later today."

She quickly gathered the undercurrent of layers to his words and couldn't help breaking into a bigger smile, though she quickly turned her eyes to the sea. "I think that's a wonderful idea," she said, before quickly calling out for the kids, who came running, shoes and skirthems wet and mucky.

"Why don't you say we have a sandcastle competition," she said, eying the kids.

"Yes!" Jenny said.

"Girls versus boys," Alicia said, always ready to beat her brother at games.

"Not fair! There's three girls," Henry pouted.

Sidney came to the rescue before any tantrums poured out from his nephew or nieces. "It's no matter. We can do just as well as them, Henry," he assured little Henry.

They stepped a bit away from the surf and got rather sandy making their clumsy castles. After quite a bit of work, they called it a tie and, after some persuasion, got the kids ready to return home so they could clean up and have a school lesson before lunch.

Charlotte and Sidney wiped off and shook out as much sand as they could from the children's clothes and their own on their way back to Trafalger House. The remnants of the town's construction could be heard as the workers continued the last few projects, though Tom was nowhere in sight when they reached home.

The kids flocked to Mary when they arrived and Sidney hovered by the entrance as Charlotte thought about a gloriously warm cup of tea and perhaps curling up and reading a book to calm her nerves.

"I uh…" Sidney said from behind her. She turned to give him her full attention. "I have some errands to attend to but perhaps after lunch I can see you again."

"Yes," she answered, almost before he'd finished his sentence. "I'll look forward to it."

They shared warm smiles before he left, leaving Charlotte alone in the foyer, but feeling much more confident of the outcome of the day than she had the previous night, left on the balcony. Sidney appeared just as eager, moreso even, to finish what they'd started, but there were certain things in life which would come first.

And Charlotte could wait, relaxing, reading, and figuring out the tangle of emotions knotted in her chest until she could perhaps voice them in a way that matched Sidney's own eloquent speech on the balcony that still made her head dizzy when she repeated them.

By the time lunch was served and cleaned up and Charlotte was sitting in the drawing room, rereading the same page in her book over and over, it felt as if her heart and breath had decided to take residence in her throat.

It wasn't entirely unpleasant, but her nerves were alight and she had very little control over it. Mary was composing a letter by light of the window and the children were having an after-lunch lesson.

"Are you feeling restless, my dear?" Mary asked after a long stretch of silence. "I haven't heard you turn a page in a long while and you keep shifting around on the seat."

Charlotte blinked and looked up. "I'm sorry?"

Mary tilted her head and gave Charlotte a look that only a mother could give. "Did last night live up to your expectations?"

Charlotte closed the book and kept her place with her finger. "It was very agreeable until...Mr. Denham…"

"Oh yes. That was quite a shock. And poor Esther Denham…" Mary's thoughts trailed off until she shook herself free. "In any case, did you have any plans for today? Visiting Georgiana perhaps?"

"Perhaps," Charlotte said automatically and then she paused, her eyebrows furrowing a little bit. "Actually, Sidney is meant to walk with me to town."

Mary looked pleasantly surprised, putting down her writing pen. "Is he?"

"Yes." Charlotte felt the heat rise to her cheeks and she turned her squinting gaze toward the window.

"And do you think it will be a highly...auspicious walk?"

Charlotte's blush deepened and she met the older woman's kind eyes. "If it is, you shall be the first to know."

Mary smiled at her warmly before returning to her letter writing. Charlotte did not return to her reading, resorting to _waiting_. However, she didn't have to wait for long. Sidney arrived just minutes after, finding Charlotte lost in her thoughts and Mary writing at the table.

"Mary," he greeted his sister-in-law, his voice jostling Charlotte to the present. She turned and then quickly got to her feet. "Miss Heywood."

"Hello, Sidney," Mary said, staying seated, though she did pause writing. The air filled tension as if she were in a room with two skittish rabbits, she took it upon herself to mediate, gratefully sending Charlotte for her coat against the winds and engaging Sidney in a quiet conversation meanwhile.

Charlotte already felt breathless when she returned downstairs and even more so as they stepped outside. It was more lively now than earlier in the day, though Charlotte didn't pause for any one she recognized.

"Were you able to finish all your errands?" Charlotte asked once they were away from the more crowded streets.

"Uh...yes," Sidney said, walking slow enough for her to keep up. "Turns out that Lord Babington got engaged last night."

"Oh?" Charlotte was momentarily surprised out of her own swirl of emotions. "To Miss Denham?"

"Yes."

"Oh, that's wonderful."

"Indeed. He is quite happy."

"An engagement is a most happy occasion. I would hope so," Charlotte said, genuine as ever.

"Yes," Sidney said, looking at her with what could only be described as love in his eyes. She glanced at him, but found it almost too overwhelming to hold his gaze for long.

Charlotte took a few deep breaths and continued walking through the grass. They had almost reached the top of the cliffside, the town long forgotten behind them. "And...your happiness. Have you found it?" she ventured to ask as both of their steps slowed in tandem.

Sidney reached out to slow her steps completely, taking her hand and bringing her around to face him. "I believe I have." His thumbs brushed across the backs of her hands, in a pleasantly thrilling sensation now that there was no gloves between their skin. "Charlotte…"

"Sidney," she countered, tilting her head to the side. She felt as if her own happiness was bubbling up, threatening to overflow.

He nearly laughed, taken by surprise, or perhaps it was just because he had been waiting for quite some time to hear her speak his name when it was not also accompanied by a-if he was being honest-quite well done and comedic impression.

"Did you plan everything you said to me? Last night?" she asked, her brain now turned on. There was no stopping her now, though she was certain that instead of a hurtful tongue lashing like one of their first conversations, this would end on much better terms.

"Um...if I'm being honest, yes and no," he replied. He was, underneath his confessions, quite insecure and nervous. It had nothing to do with Charlotte and all to do with him. He had been through quite a heart break and had closed himself off for so long that returning to these emotions was mildly terrifying. And Charlotte...well, just speaking with her was calming.

"Because I've been thinking about what I would say, all night, all day," she pushed on. "And then I realized I hadn't actually ever...told you."

"You don't need to-" Sidney insisted.

"I don't want you to assume," she said, as much to break the tension as it was truthful. "I want you to know that…" She paused to squeeze his hands and to step forward a little. "You're unlike anyone I've ever met. Underneath it all, you are quite...kind and loving and I think you have been putting everyone else, especially your family, before yourself. And," she frowned, "that goes against what I've said before, accusing you of not doing all you can to help Tom, but I was wrong and I can tell that you do put yourself last. And, if you're going to make...some big decision about your life, I want you to know that it is perfectly agreeable to choose your own happiness above all else."

"I think I finally am."

Charlotte tilted her head back and looked at his deep brown eyes and hoped he could see in her what she could see in his. "You...challenge me, listen to me, and ask for my opinions. I'm aware that I've done things that have made you terribly upset with me but I hope that you know that I would never…" They got closer still. "I could never deliberately hurt you."

She may or may not have known it, but her words lifted him up. Any doubts were eradicated, cemented in the moment.

"And you make me feel as if my world would collapse without you in it," she added, ever so softly, wanting desperately to kiss him, but also knowing she should _wait_.

With their foreheads nearly touching, Sidney didn't bother taking a knee. His heart beat wildly, as if it just now remembered what this feeling-love, happiness, excitement-was. "Charlotte…"

"Yes?"

"Will you marry me?" he said simply because he wasn't entirely sure he could muster up a more eloquent way of asking.

He frowned a bit while saying it, but his brow smoothed out as she replied, "I'd love nothing more."

And then they were both smiling and then kissing each other as if the weight of a thousand pounds had been lifted from their shoulders and there was nothing else in the world but the two of them, gailing winds and this clifftop.

**Author's Note:**

> okay but like...whom proposed to whom? ;P
> 
> I really wanted to write Charlotte's feelings since Sidney never heard her speak them in the show and it's what we all deserve!


End file.
